


CANVAS

by DefCYJ



Category: GOT7
Genre: 2Jae, Alternate Universe, Cooking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, Feelings, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Food, Happy Ending, Insecurity, M/M, Mentioned Kim Yugyeom, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Shy Im Jaebum | JB, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-22
Updated: 2020-02-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:28:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 15,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22846384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DefCYJ/pseuds/DefCYJ
Summary: Jaebeom thought he couldn't love something more than his mothers food and Art,but then he met Choi Youngjae.
Relationships: Choi Youngjae/Im Jaebum | JB
Comments: 28
Kudos: 36





	1. on the Road

**Author's Note:**

> This is my second FF or written story in general  
> and english is not my mother language,  
> so I hope you don't mind if there are spelling or other mistakes.
> 
> tbh, I had this ...Smut... Idea in my head, but I asked someone else if they could write it since I thought i woulnt never be able to write this, lol  
> but one stressful Friday at work, my head decided to give me ideas so you have to deal with my own version now.

Why does the World have to be so cruel to him, Jaebeom thought to himself.  
He liked to be alone and even tho he like to sit in a Bus to watch the landscape,  
he definitely doesn't like the reason why he's trapped in this crowded vehicle now.  
He wanted to spent his precious summer vacations at home, in his cozy room in front of his blank canvas, thinking about all the things he could draw.  
As long as he could think he had a thing for Art. His parents work in a Museum so he grew up with paintings and sculptures around him.  
They always gave him a feeling of comfort and security, he really liked that and felt the safest when he's at home with all the things he needed to be creative.  
But now he's on the way to his Uncle, to spend his 8 week Vacations at his hotel on the sea side.  
He doesn’t even know him that well nor does he want to spent his time there. His parents thought it would be a good idea for him to spend some time outside.  
Yes, maybe he doesn't have many friends and yes maybe he needs to go out more because he's white like his beloved canvas but he could have stayed at home  
like he used to do and maybe meet his childhood friend Jinyoung from time to time.  
With a heavy sign he shoved his bucket hat over his face and tried to sleep to make this ride as enjoyable as possible. 

After a 5 hours Bus drive he arrived and he felt like shit. The air conditioner stopped working after half the Route and his clothes sticked on his sweaty body.  
He couldn’t wait to take a shower and go to sleep, already being done with his vacations which didn’t even started a day ago.  
"Ahh Jaebeom, long time no see, whoa you grew up so well, a little bit pale but I guess we can work on this." his uncle laughed and took his bags out of his hands.  
On the way to the hotel, his uncle talked a lot, asked him questions and tried to warm up a bit.  
He doesn't feel comfortable but he knew he had to be nice so his mom wouldn't be mad or disappointed when she later calls his Uncle.  
They arrived at the hotel and Uncle Seokjin showed him bis room.  
"Make yourself fresh and come to the Restaurant when you are ready, you must be hungry so please order what you want, they will know who you are, don't worry"  
He took a long and cold shower and changed his clothes. Not that any body would see a difference since all of his clothes were black or gray but he didn’t bother at all.  
It was his way to express his inner self so he didn’t care if people would judge him for looking like a Goth or whatever.  
A nice Lady greeted him as he entered the Restaurant. "Ahhh You must be Jaebeom. How was your travel? Do you like your room? Please let me know when you need something.  
Here is a free seat you can order what you want. Please just let me know when you are ready" she smiled and left him alone. 

He looked trough the card and had a hard time to find something to eat.  
He was a picky eater, he didn’t really like vegetables or much green stuff.  
"Can... I have one Ramen please and a Coke? But... The Ramen without vegetables... Is this possible?" he blushed.  
"Sure sure everything you want" she said with a huge smile on her face and left.

It was an open Kitchen so he cold hear the ones who work there talking and the pan's on the stove.  
One of them was singing to every song that came on the Radio. The others mocked him for singing the english lyrics wrong but he didn’t mind, he just laughed and continued to sing.  
He had a nice laugh and a nice singing voice Jaebeom had to admit. His thoughts were with his phone,  
scrolling though Instagram as someone placed a bowl of Noodles I front of him "One Picky Eater Ramen bowl without vegetables for the Pale City boy" someone said amused.  
He took his eyes from his phone and looked to the one who served him.  
His eyes widened as he saw the Angel in front of him.  
The boy had sun kissed skin which matched perfect with his strawberry blond colored hair.  
He had a cute nose, soft cheeks, a mole right under his warm brown eyes and the most beautiful smile he had ever seen.  
Jaebeom's heart stopped for a moment. “You must be Jaebeom right? I'm Youngjae, nice to meet you. I heard you don’t like vegetables but I bet 100.000 won that you will like mine” he said with a wink and left.  
Still speechless from the boldness of the Boy, he slurped his soup in silence.

Maybe his vacations won't be as bad as he thought and maybe he would try some vegetables,  
but just if the cute Chef with the wonderful smile prepares them.


	2. new flavors and red cheeks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TB to the time when I was in Japan for the Jus2 Showcase and I didn't understand a word   
> but it felt like Jaebeom talked about doing his business and tomato's,  
> when I looked on Twitter I saw that he really talked about his ♡ smelling like them because he ate so many.  
> But not sure if i dreamed it or if it's real.  
> anyways eat your vegetables and stay hydrated.
> 
> ~♡~

Even tho he was so tired from the ride, he couldn’t find sleep last night. His mind always traveled back to the cute cook with the soft red cheeks.   
He really wanted to see him again, wanted to see his bright smile again. He was glad that he knew where the boy worked so it was easy for him to find the one he was looking for.   
But still he hesitated to go to the Restaurant. He was scared that he stuttered in front of the boy and made a fool out of himself.   
He wanted to be cool, he wanted to be someone Youngjae cold like. It was the first time since ages for Jaebeom that he wanted to be friends with someone,   
to spend time with someone besides bis parents, Jinyoung or Art.   
Hopefully he could find the strength in himself to approach the boy without blushing like hell. 

He walked around the small town with no direction in mind, looking for interesting things to shoot.   
He missed his pencils and his utensils to draw and he wished his bag was huge enough to take it all with him,   
but he was glad he had his camera with him, so at least he could live a bit of his Art loving life.  
It was already evening so the sun had this warm, orange color and dipped everything in a warm feeling. He was nearly at his uncles hotel as he saw him again.   
The young cook knelt in a small field in a garden behind the restaurant. He picked some herbs and smelled on them like it was the best thing he ever smelled.   
Jaebeom took his camera out and snapped a picture. The sun made his features look even more soft and the strawberry blond shined in the dimming light.  
He stood there with an open mouth not blinded by the sun, but blinded by the beauty of the young man.   
The other looked in his direction and their eyes met. Jaebeom felt caught and the first thing he did was to hid behind the bush. Omg, he was so stupid. Why does he act so strange in front of him?   
I mean, yes he was beautiful and cute, but why does he have to embarrass himself in front of him all the time?   
A laugh appeared, the same that he heard yesterday in the Restaurant. Of course it was Youngjae's , you could hear it from meters away and he never heard a contagious laugh like this before.   
It was definitely him and of course he saw him earlier, he couldn’t move out of embarrassment   
„Hey Jaebeom, come over I already saw you, it's okay. Do you want to try my new creation? It's a Tomato Ramen with fresh herbs and I bet you will love it“.   
Jaebeom came out of his hideout,brushing the dust off his jeans and with a head red like said tomato. He coughed, „Hm thank you but I'm ...I'm not that hungry....“ but as he said that,   
his belly started to rumble. He remembered that he hasn’t eaten much today, just a few snacks and there is this laugh again  
„oh come on, I can hear that your belly tells a different story. I know it contains vegetables and you don’t like them but please try it, I really want to hear what you think, it would mean a lot.“   
How could he say no, when the other gave so much to hear his opinion? 

Since Youngjae was so determined to show Jaebeom the joy in cooking and ingredients, they agreed to try the Ramen recipe after the normal work was finished. It would take a few hours for the Restaurant to be closed and Jaebeom was still hungry so the younger made him Kimbap with Tuna Mayo, one of his favorite foods. His mom used to make them often, for his school lunch or when they went on trips to the Woods together with his dad. He munched them while he read his favorite book outside on the terrace. He forgot everything around him while reading books, he loved to be captured by the story so he totally forgot the time.   
Two sweaty hands covered his eyes as he was reading one of his favorite parts. Of course he knew who it was, but he had to hold his laugh as Youngjae spoke in a darker voice to disguise who it was, "Jaebeom, Who Iam??", "Mhhhm good question, maybe Uncle Soekjin?" “No I'm your Father” he said with his best Star Wars imitation. As Youngjae let him go, both of them had to laugh. It was the first time seeing him with such a care free smile, without all the nervousness that seemed to be a normal state for Jaebeom. "I hope I see you more often like this, it really suits you" he said with a warm smile "but now let's go I am huuungry and so excited to try the recipe" he patted his belly and both of the boys went into the kitchen.   
It was strange to be alone with him, even tho he wished for this since he met him. Youngjae gathered all the ingredients they needed and placed them on the working area. “Since we don't want to get too dirty....”, he tied a apron around Jaebeom's hips, clearly aware of the blush from the older. It wasn’t that he wanted to mock the other one because of his shyness, he just found a liking in his glowing cheeks and the cute stuttering.

"So now please close your eyes, trust me I won't do something bad to you". Jaebeom closed his eyes and waited patiently until he heard a rustle. "You have to guess what I show you".   
He smelled carefully, still not a fan of this awkward situation, "oh, this one is easy, it's garlic and I really love it." he said as soon as he could guess what it was.   
“Uhhh something you like? Good, good that was indeed easy, next one, what's that?" he sniffed a bit and a smell he knew found his nose, it reminded him of Pizza "hmhm maybe Basil?".   
"Jup, jup right again, you are better that I thought" the other one chuckled.   
Another aromatic scent found his nose but he couldn’t put a finger on what it was.   
"Okay, since we will make Tomato Ramen, it must be a tomato, but I didn’t know these monster smell this good. Can I open my eyes again?".  
As he opened them, he saw the happy face of the other, he felt how the excitement grew in his belly and he had to admit that he finally started to enjoy this more and more.  
The Radio was playing in the background as they started their work. Both of them were humming to the music and it was a comfortable Atmosphere.   
"Beomie~ could you pass me the pork belly?".   
He stopped in his actions, waaaait, what was that? Beomie? He wanted to open his mouth to tell him that HE is still the older after all and doesn’t want to be called like a baby.   
He wanted to tell him, that only his grandma is allowed to call him “Boemie”, that he's cooler than THAT name.   
But as he looked over his shoulder to scold the younger, he saw soft eyes on himself. "I'm sorry it just slipped out...”he said with a cute pout, knowing about the effect this expression holds.   
“But is it okay if I call you like that ? I... Just really think it's cute, just like you".   
Even tho he was ready to tell the other one that he didn’t want to be called like that, he found himself nodding.   
He blamed it on the steamy air and the late hour, but maybe it was because a part of him wanted to be cute for the younger. 

The taller one prepared the spring onions as Youngjae came over, "Let me show you how you have to hold your Fingers without being scared to cut one of them" he took his Hand and showed him the right technique,   
his hands weren’t that soft because of the hard work they went trough each day, but they were still warm and left a nice feeling on his skin.   
"And now you have to move the knife like this, slowly and with not much pressure. If your knife is sharp you don’t have to put much force into it, It just slides easily".   
The younger was behind him, showing him how easy it could be to cut the onions, he was so close, he felt the chest of the younger on his back and his hands still on his own, cheeks burned from the touch of the younger and it felt like a eternity until they parted. "Are you okay? Your cheeks are so red, hopefully it's not a fever" he said with a cheeky smile.  
"It's... It's nothing. Maybe... because I'm not used to the steamy kitchen" he said, trying to calm down.  
"But Jaebeom, we haven't even started yet" the younger laughed and Jaebeom felt like he became even more red, he probably looks like the tomato next to him. 

"You are a really good helper, thank you so much, I would love to do this again" he said with a warm smile.   
Jaebeom was happy that he could help a bit, even tho he didn't felt like he did much. Youngjae began to put all the ingredients into the pot and immediately it smelled wonderful.   
Jaebeom really liked to watch the younger, he had such a cute smile on his face while working and you could really see the love he put into preparing the soup,   
thank god he didn't mind that Jaebeom had his eyes on him all the time.   
All the ingredients found the way into the pot on the stove and it smelled so good, he couldn't wait to try what they prepared together.   
It's really a different feeling if you cook it by yourself and he started to understand why the younger loved his job so much. "Ahhh I'm so excited, it smells so good, I can't wait to try it" he dipped his spoon into the sauce, his face was tense as he tried the broth. "mhmhm I'm not sure, what do you think?" and with this he shoved the spoon into Jaebeom's mouth. The warm liquid spread out in his mouth and Jaebeom's eyes widened. "Woaaaaah" he was totally shocked, despite all the vegetables, it was SO tasty. It was the perfect amount of Spicy, Sour and Sweetness.  
"Do you like it??? Its super tasty right?? I just wanted to see your honest opinion. Ahhh... I'm SO glad. We really did well. I can't wait to try it with the noodles. Let me finish it quick so we can eat."   
you could tell that the other one was excited, the words just bubbled out of him and his eyes were glowing from all the joy he felt.  
“See vegetables aren't THAT bad, if you cook or fry them they get even better and if you add herbs, it's a totally new experiences.  
I'm happy you like our Ramen and I can already feel that you will like vegetables soon" he said with a confident nod while slurping his noodles.  
He wasn’t sure if he will like vegetables, but he was sure that he started to like the younger one more and more....

~♡~

After this they spend most of the time together. Youngjae showed him all the good places in town and told him all the insider info’s he had to know.   
Even tho he still felt shy, he was glad that the other took so good care of him so he didn’t have to be all alone all the time.   
Yes, yes he said he likes to be alone, but with Youngjae it felt good to be together. Not like him, the younger one liked to talk,   
so he was listening to all the story’s and ideas about new food creations the all the other things he had in mind.   
But it became also less hard for him to talk as well. It became more natural for him to speak about things he had in mind with Youngjae   
and he felt more and more happy to be here with every day that went by. 

His mom called him from time to time and asked how he was. He told her about Youngjae and all the food he ate and all the adventures he made with the other by his side.   
Maybe it wasn’t a bad idea to send him there after all his Mom thought after they ended their conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was watching LOTJ with my friend and it was filled with Eating Jaebeom   
> and his face when he ate something tastyis just so super cute.   
> I really love his 😲 face.
> 
> anyways, thank you for reading.


	3. Spring Onions and Promises

“Before you can come in... I have to get rid of a few things” he said with an apologetic smile “Tidiness isn’t my second name you know”.   
Jaebeom smiled as he hear the rustles and the curse words behind the closed door. After a few minutes Youngjae opened the door, sweat on his fore head from the unexpected strain.   
It was the first time he was over at Youngjae's flat, so of course he felt excited to see how he lived.  
It was tiny but super cozy, but even with all the effort the younger had a few minutes ago to minimize the mess, it was still very different from his own room.   
There where magazines and video games everywhere, shoes and shirts are on the floor all around the flat and all in all it was a Chaos,  
not like his tidy room where everything has his set place. But still he felt like he could spend hours here. 

“I'm staaarving. It was such a stressful day I couldn’t even eat at work, do you want to eat something too?”   
he wasn’t that hungry but he really liked Youngjae's dishes so he agreed to eat even if its just a bit.   
“please make yourself comfortable, I know its not the biggest and uhm... tidiest place but please feel free to do what you want.   
He sat on the couch and looked trough the magazines. They where about recipes and the newest trends from oversea.   
He didn’t try many things that weren’t Korean, sometimes a burger or Italian pasta but that’s it.   
He guessed there are many other things out there and he wondered if he could try them out with the man that was singing and cooking in the kitchen.  
“Dinner is ready, I hope you like it. I made it with looove” the younger grinned.  
Jaebeom took a seat across from Youngjae and smiled as he saw the plate in front of him ”fried rice?”, The younger tried to look offended   
but he had to hold his laugh back, of course he failed.   
“Yeah yeah I know its not the 5 Star restaurant food you are used to eat, but I promise that you will like it, its called 'comfort food' okay?”   
the black haired boy had to giggle about the way the other said the English words, it was just so cute.  
He tried a bit and as soon as the first spoon met his taste buds he looked at the other with huge eyes “O M G it's SO tasty, how???”   
“see I told you, it's not a big deal, but things don't always have to be made with huge effort to be good, whenever I make my spring onion rice I feel like home,   
we didn't have much back then, but my mom always tied to make us feel good with her food”.  
“Its SO tasty really, I never though, when I saw all the greens in it” he took another big spoon and munched the food with a huge grin on his face.  
“how did you make it? There is something in it I can't guess what it is, Maybe I can ask my mom to cook it when I'm back home”  
“mhmhmhm,.... maybe you tasted the love I put into” he said with a wink “but sorry that’s a Choi original recipe,   
I can't tell you, you have to come over if you want to taste it again, I have to keep my secrets, you know?  
I'm afraid that when you are back in Seoul you won't remember me anymore, So hopefully you will miss the taste of my food so you won't forget me.” He said with a sad smile.  
“Youngjae....I'm.... I will never forget you. No way, Never. I promise you.”   
He didn’t want to let go of their newborn Friendship, even when he realized that he maybe felt more than just that.   
The younger looked up and his features became softer. He could see that Jaebeom meant the words he said.   
Maybe it will be hard to stay in touch like they are used to be now, but he knew they would try their best to make it work.   
Their fingers intertwined and they stayed like this, no words were needed anymore and they ate the rest of their food in a comfortable silence.  
His mother once said “The way to a man's heart goes trough his stomach” and maybe that’s true.   
It wasn’t just the warm rice that filled his insides with warmth, it was also Choi Youngjae hat made him feel comfortable and loved like a soup on a cold winter day.


	4. Stargazing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sometime went by between the chapters, I'm not good in writing every day life   
> so just imagine them spending time together

Youngjae was done with his shift and as always he visited Jaebeom in his room.  
“Beomieee I'm done for today” he said as he jumped on the bed next to the black haired boy.   
They talked a bit about their day. Jaebeom didn’t do much today because it was rainy all day so he was just at his hotel room listening to some music.  
"Hey would you mind if I use your shower?" Youngjae asked after a while. "I smell like the soup and Fried onions I prepare today" he crunched his nose when he took a sniff off his shirt  
"I bet my whole body smells this weird" and with this went to the bathroom. Jaebeom couldn’t say the words he wanted to say.   
He couldn’t say that he liked the smell of the soups Youngjae prepares with so much passion, he liked Fried onions and he really liked Youngjae,   
no matter how he smelled, even if he smells like a greasy fried onion.

The door opened again and the Blond haired boy came out with nothing on but a Shirt and his boxer.   
Jaebeom couldn’t take the eyes off these tanned and well Trained legs. He had to swallow and it felt like the whole room fell silent and just this beating heart was possible to hear.  
Youngjae felt the stare of the older. "Sorry I forgot something, but by the way.... Want to join?" Jaebeom felt how the Red color creeped into his Cheeks.   
"Thought so..." he smiled "maybe Next time" and with a wink he went back into the Shower room.  
Jaebeom hid his face under a pillow and screamed. 'Calm down Beomie, Calm down' he said to himself like a mantra.   
Youngjae took forever to shower and he had enough time to collect himself before they went to the cinema.   
They wanted to watch a movie together because the weather wasn’t good enough to go to the beach like they do most of the time.  
He didn’t know why they agreed to watch a Horror movie, knowing both of them are not the toughed ones when it comes to these kind of entertainment,  
but he hoped that the other one would find comfort in his arms when he was scared.   
The movie was as horrible as they thought and they spend most of the time with closed eyes and holding each other.   
As they left the cinema it was already dark and the wind was a bit heavier than usual.   
Since the younger couldn’t go home before they went to the cinema, he didn’t have a jacket with him so Jaebeom gave him his own.   
He felt too warm anyways and it was cute to see the smaller one in his huge Jacket. The way back home took longer than usual, the night sky was clear so they had a wonderful view at the shining lights above them.  
Jaebeom loved to study Star constellations and Planets and the Moon was always his favorite.   
Since his younger days he always looked out for it on clear nights like this and found comfort whenever he saw the always changing planet.   
He showed Youngjae the Milky way and all the Stars he knew. “Do you see him?” “Uhmm yes yes I do, of course.” the younger said blushing.  
“Did you really find it or do you lie to me just to make me shut up?” the taller one asked. “Of course I know where the Polar Star is, its the one next to the other one, the slightly brighter one”   
he said with a cute pout. His heart skipped a beat and he had to smile. It was just so adorable when Youngjae wasn't the one who knew more than him, but it felt good that this time he could show him something new.   
They still held hands as they arrived at Youngjae's door. “I'm sorry that you have to walk home alone now, If you want we can talk on the phone until you are save at home, I know you aren’t that scared as I am”   
he said with a grin knowing that the other is indeed a hopeless case just like him “...but I would feel better if I know you made it save to your room”.   
The older one was relived that he didn’t have to admit that he was indeed scared and didn’t have to walk home totally by himself “if you feel better with this I would like to do that”. He said with a smile.  
“thank you for walking back home with me and for showing me the beauty of our galaxy, you are my Hero” he said and gave the older a peck on the cheek and with that he ran intro his house,  
trying to hide his blushed face. He noticed that he still had Jaebeom's jacket around his shoulder, but as he looked outside to catch him, he was already gone.   
He inhaled the sweet cologne that was lingering in the jeans fabric and pulled the jacket tighter around him. It felt like a warm hug but he wished to be in Jaebeom's arms instead.

Jaebeom called him asking if he was okay, they talked at the phone until he arrived save in his room, chatting about everything. The older laid on his bed as they bid their good nights.   
“Sleep well JaeJae and if you are scared you can always call me okay? I'm here to protect you, Good Night and see you tomorrow”.  
Jaebeom slept tight and had a wonderful dream about holding hands and small kisses on the cheek. After waking up, he took a look at his phone and saw all the Messages from Youngjae,   
whining that he can't sleep and that his hero isn’t such a hero after all because hes sleeping and doesn’t care about him at all.   
Seems like he had to treat him an extra ice cream today so the other one isn’t mad anymore.


	5. Waves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i really hope this chapter makes sense,  
> In my head it did.
> 
> there is a little bit drama...

It was a warm and sunny day as they went to their favorite spot on the beach. It was Youngjae's secret place because not many people knew about it.   
It's far off the crowded main beach, where all the tourist lay on the sand and get their tan or just some fun in the water.   
The way you have to take to get to the calm beach is a bit hard but it is totally worth it.   
Not many want to take the challenging path above the cliff, so it's really mostly just them or one or two Surfer from the small town, who find their way to the lagoon.   
Most of the time they spent there, Jaebeom sits on his towel and watches Youngjae swim or surf a bit.   
Since he grew up in the City and never had to actually learn how to swim, he never did.   
Not that he really wanted anyways but seeing Youngjae having fun in the water made him a bit jealous.   
Like always, the younger felt the stares of the other and went over to him. Still dripping wet from the salty ocean, he wiggled his hair like a dog in front of Jaebeom, spilling some drops on him.   
"heyy I didn't want to get wet, stop it" he laughed. "Ahhh, come on Jaebeom. You always sit here and watch me. Come on and join me, it's okay if you can't swim I can teach you.  
The weather is nice today and there aren't many waves. Get your Shirt off and come with me" .  
He hesitated a bit, "mhm maybe I should really try it, but I will leave my shirt on".   
He rolled his eyes in annoyance, "why are you so afraid. It's not a big Deal, It's not like I haven’t seen a man before" the younger said.   
He didn't like the comment to be honest, he had insecurity’s since a long time and that's why he didn't want to show his body around.   
The shirt stays on his body no matter what. Youngjae was already on the way back into the water. The Sand was pretty hot so it was a wonderful feeling for his feet to finally cool down in the cold wet.  
Youngjae really had his fun in the water, he played and dived like a small Otter and whenever he came back to the surface, he had a huge smile on his face.   
It was easy to walk into the water first, but as the surface touched his Private parts it became a struggle.  
He didn't know which was the best way to get over this part, getting his whole body wet at once or step after step?  
He couldn’t really think about it, because Youngjae already splashed him with the cold liquid, not waiting for him to think which way is the best for him. He should be mad but he can't when the other one is smiling cutely at him. 

"Since you are wet now we can start with the practice" he said determining but joking tone.   
"You can call me Teacher Choi if you want, but since we are friends, Youngjae is also okay" he winked at him.  
"First you have to put your hands like this", he showed him everything he needed to know, but still it was hard for Jaebeom to find the right way make it work.   
His head kept working, thinking to much, filled up with anxiety about the not so familiar task.   
He was a thinker, he always was. It wasn't easy for him to do new things without thinking about it long enough.   
He was not so spontaneously like the other and he wasn't so care free. He doesn't feel good and the excitement from the other didn't help at all  
"Come one Jaebeom you can do it, let's go and have some fun, it's not that hard, you will see".   
But for him it was, the water burned in his eyes and his arms were already hurting from all the attempts he did to swim like the other.   
He had enough, "I’m done, I don't want that anymore, I will stop now" and with that he went back to the beach.   
He was mad at Youngjae because everything seemed so easy for him and he was mad at himself because he couldn’t do the things he wanted to do, because his stupid brain always stopped him with all the over thinking.   
He knew it wasn't always helpful to think too much, but he couldn’t stop it, even if he tried. He sat back on his towel burying his face in his entangled arms.   
Youngjae ran after him, not sure why the other one was mad or what he did wrong.   
"Hey why did you stop, we had so much fun or not?".   
Anger was boiling up in him, "No, WE didn't have fun, YOU had fun, for me it was actually a pain in the ass, but thank you for noticing Teacher Choi" tears burning in his eyes, his face was full of anger and hurt.   
Youngjae was shocked to see him like this, his eyes widened from disbelief and it just made him more mad.   
Youngjae was confused, so he just sat next to him in silence and hoped he would calm down, afraid to say something that made the whole situation even worse.   
He noticed the trembling shoulders of the other and it hurt him that he couldn’t help him, being the the problem that caused the whole Drama.   
It took him a while to calm down, but Youngjae sat next to him and gave him comfort with his silence.   
"I didn't want to yell at you like this, I'm sorry", he said with a small voice. A weight fell from the shoulders of the smaller, he was so glad that the other one talked with him.   
"I'm just mad at myself because I... I can't do it and for you it's so easy. I feel dumb and I feel embarrassed and your words that it's easy just made me angrier.  
Just because it's easy for you doesn't mean it's easy for others you know?" he said.  
"I’m sorry Jaebeom it wasn't my Intention to hurt you. I just swim since I can think, so I didn't understand that it's not so easy for you.  
I'm a bad swimming teacher" he said, guilt in his voice.   
"You really are, good that you found out by yourself, but good to know that you aren't good in everything" he said with a smile.   
Even tho it felt like a eternity for Youngjae that they knew each other, there are so many things that he didn't know about Jaebeom.   
There is this wall that he build up around him, that is so hard to get trough. He wondered what happened in the past gothis heart so closed, but he would wait patiently for the other one because he really wanted to get to know him more and more.   
Normally it was so easy to talk and to hang out with him, but sometimes things like this happen and he doesn’t know what he did wrong or what bothered Jaebeom.   
He knew his care free and straight forward Attitude wasn’t easy for everyone, but he thought the other one could live with that.   
"If I say something that hurts you please let me know, sometimes I get over excited and then I might say things that aren’t right.  
But please, you have to tell me okay? I really want us to get a long".  
Jaebeom nodded, but that's the problem, it was hard for him to talk about his feelings and what bothers him, but he wants to try.   
He wants to try for himself and he wants to try for Youngjae to make him understand him a bit better, even tho it won't be easy for him.   
The sun was slowly setting, the orange light sparkled on the water, it was a wonderful few for the two boys, but the atmosphere was Still a bit tense, both afraid to say something wrong, to hurt the other again.  
"I'm.... also the thing you said about my Shirt hurt me a bit if I'm being honest, I know it's my strange mind, but again it's not as easy for me as it's maybe for you." he said with a quite voice   
"I was mobbed a lot in School you know. I was always thin like this and had this super white skin because well.... I never went out that much because i don’t have many friends..."  
Youngjae was aware that it must be really hard for him to open up like this, so he just nodded and tried to make him feel that it's up to him to continue.   
"Especially while changing for the Sport classes they found their joy in mobbing me and others. I know it was long ago, but it still feels like it was yesterday.   
I'm very insecurity when it comes to my body, especially I front of someone who looks so athletic and fit like you...” he glanced over at the others body, ”I hope you understand it a bit".   
"I'm so sorry to hear that Jaebeom, I didn’t know, I'm so sorry."   
There was this silence again, it felt like both wanted to say something, but kept quite because they didn’t know if it's okay to speak up.   
It's the first time that they had this Situation since they knew each other, their first little fight. 

"I don’t know if it helps, but for me I can't see what's wrong about your body, as far as I could see... I wish I was thin like you, I know I'm not fat, but there is this belly and I can't get rid of it, maybe from all the eating at work"   
he chuckled and pinched his cute little rolls that were barely visible.   
"But really Jaebeom, I know it's easier to say than to believe it, but Looks aren’t everything.   
For me you are such an interesting and a wonderful Person inside and out. I know appearance is important and everything, but in the you are who you are and that's nothing bad.”  
"I wish more people would think like you, I wish I could..." Jaebeom said.  
“What's so wrong about about being different? Everyone is beautiful in their own way, at least that’s my opinion.   
When I was smaller, I was struggling with my skin color too. Not sure if you noticed it but I get a tan super quick, I have it in my genes you know.   
So in Pre school, some of my classmates made fun of me, I was so confused and didn’t understand what's the problem, so I ran home and cried.   
My mom told me that I should be proud of the way I am, that I'm unique in my own way and that its okay to be different”   
he looked over to Jaebeom, his head was still buried in his arms, he really wanted to try to make the other one feel better about himself.   
“I told myself that my body is my own canvas, each bruise, tan line, tattoo or scar tell their own story, so it's up on myself how I decorate my self and how I want people to see me.  
I Mean look at all the moles you have, like your two cute moles on your eyelid, not many people have them like this or can you see this scar?" he showed a tiny scar on his left knee  
"I got it when I tried to learn how to ride a bike for the first time or this one was when I fell from the shelf, as I wanted to climb on it to get the sweets from there, my mom was so mad at me"   
He laughed "I really try to see it that way, to find the beauty in these little things, not just on me but on others as well.   
Not everything can be perfect about us, but there will be someone who will like these things about you” He shrugged his shoulders.   
"And If you ever find yourself on a boring date with nothing to talk about, ask them about their bruises and they will tell you the best story's."   
It was loads to think about for Jaebeom, his mind was busy to progress everything he heard from the other.

“I know we didn’t have the best start with the swimming lesson, but can you maybe give me a little bit trust again? I would love to show you something.”  
The other hesitated a bit, but he really wanted to try to work on these things and he must admit he was curious as well.   
The other took him by the hand, the warm the touch made him shiver. There is still this overwhelming feeling in his stomach when he felt the warmth of the other.   
Hand in Hand they went on the edge of the calm ocean, small waves tickled their feet. The sun changed places with the moon a while ago and covered the dark sea with a mysterious light.  
“Uhm, will we go swimming again? Because I have nothing to change with me and it will be cold on the way back home".  
“ah yes you are right, well never mind then... let's do it another time”, he said with a sad tone, already feeling dumb for his idea.   
The other next to him started to move his arms slowly, With shaking hands he grabbed the hem of his shirt,   
“Don't look at me like that, I said I want to get better in this and since it's dark and I trust you it will be okay... I guess”.   
He undressed himself until he just stood there in his boxers, it was still warm from the day so he didn’t freeze at all and he really needed a refresh after this exhausting day.  
Youngjae was already all the way down as the older struggled to wet his private parts again.  
"After all what I told you, you still stare at me like this?" he tried to say it in a joking tone but Youngjae could hear the insecurity’s.  
"I'm sorry, you are right... It's just... I can't take my eyes off you, like I said... I think you are beautiful".   
Before Jaebeom could say a word, the younger disappeared into the cold wet, hiding his blush and cooling down the hotness that spread trough his whole body.  
If the older just knew what he did him to with him with his milky skin...  
Jaebeom was finally ready, "Just lay down, you will flood naturally, I promise. Let me help you if you aren't comfortable”.   
The older nodded and Youngjae came over to help him. He placed a hand on his back and one under his butt, lifting the other up until he flooded on the surface like a boat.   
He did the same and took Jaebeom's hand in his. The other was breathing fast but as soon as their fingers interlaced, he could calm down, feeling save next to the other.   
“We are like otters... too sad I can't lay on your belly” Jaebeom laughed, slowly getting used to the unfamiliar feeling.   
“Since you told me about all the stars and planets, I find myself looking up to them when it's a clear night like today,  
even if they are so far away they give me a feeling of security, I hope I find comfort in them when you are gone”.   
Jaebeom pulled him closer, his fore head resting on the temple of the other,   
”If you miss me just look at the stars, I will do the same okay? Even if we are hours away from each other, we still share the same roof”.   
Eventually their feet tangled, just to stay as close as possible while looking up to the stars.

Even later when Jaebeom was in his bed he felt the movements from the ocean in his body,  
he felt protected like a baby in his crib and with a smile on his face he dived into a dreamless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> does it make sense?
> 
> I really miss the sun and i want to pinch youngjaes belly aswell and Jaebeoms cheeks.


	6. Confessions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drama again....

He was tired. Youngjae worked all day so he had to spend time with himself again. He took a walk at the beach, collected some shells and stones to have a nice Souvenir for his room back in Seoul.   
He got hungry so he went back to his uncles Hotel and sat in front of the bar.   
He liked the open Kitchen, he liked to watch the quick hand movements of the Chefs and of course he liked to watch Youngjae.   
He was so passionate about the things he did. You could see that he loved his job, even if it must be stressful and super warm in this steamy kitchen.   
He couldn’t take the eyes off him and the other cook noticed. "Hey Jaebeom, you should know that our cute looking Youngjae here isn’t so innocent as he seems.   
He's not just good in cooking, seems like he has other quality’s as well" he winked "You can ask nearly every good looking Guest here, So take care before he breaks your heart" he laughed.   
Jaebeom's look froze and he looked at Youngjae who found his eyes with a worried and apologizing look, the words felt like a slap in the face.   
"Stop making me worse than I am, just because you don’t get laid" Youngjae said with a bit anger in his voice.   
Youngjae finished Jaebeom's Ramen and handed him his favorite soup.   
"hey I'm sorry you heard that... Can... Can we please talk about it later? I don’t want you to think bad about me".   
He could just nod. He was confused. He thought what they had was something special. Was Youngjae nice to everybody like this? Was he this close with every Guest? Jaebeom's heart was broken.   
He really liked the other one and thought he would be the only one who could hold his hands. But he could understand why every Guest would fall for the cute cook.  
Jaebeom finished his bowl of soup, he sighed as he got off his chair. "thank you for the meal, See you later" he said with a sad smile.   
Youngjae was worried. He knew how vulnerable Jaebeom's feelings were and the last thing he wanted to do, was to scare him away.  
He really liked the guy. He liked him more than everyone else. He liked to see the smile on his face whenever he ate his food,   
he liked the way Jaebeom thought about the World, he liked the way his eyes became sparkling when he talked about art, he liked the way his hand felt in the others and he ....   
yeah... He liked HIM a lot.   
Seeing him in pain hurts him so much and he was afraid that he already lost him trough a dumb comment of his annoying colleague.   
Youngjae came over and took his Hand "Please meet me later. Let's talk about it okay, I will be finished soon, 6pm, at our special place?"   
he gave the black haired boy a small peck on the cheek and his Colleagues yodeled in the kitchen "Ahhh Youngjae, so hes really your new victim hmmmhn???".  
With a sad look he left the Restaurant. The Ramen felt heavy in his stomach. He walked around with no place in mind to go.   
He walked and walked and realized soon that he was already at the beach. At THEIR place.... The place they shared so many moments together, so many laughs and so many story's they told each other.   
Youngjae wanted to meet him here... It wouldn’t make sense to go back to the hotel an come back here so he lay down and closed his eyes.   
His head was spinning with all the comments the chef's said. He knew that he had to listen to Youngjae's explanation first, but does he even have a right to be sad or jealous?   
It's not like they are dating, it's not like they talked about their feelings for each other.... It's so frustrating. He laid there and listened to the soft waves.   
It helped... It helped to calm down and being tired from thinking and walking he drifted into sleep.

As he woke up, he felt a fingertip on his fore head playing with his hair. He opened the eyes slowly and saw Youngjae with a soft and dreamy look on his face. What would he give to be able to wake up next to him in the morning. "since when are you here? Did... Did you watch me sleep?" he became embarrassed. He checked if he was drooling, but thanks god he didn’t. "You look so beautiful when you sleep... I couldn’t wake you up, I'm sorry" the younger said in a warm tone. His heart was beating like crazy in his chest and he was afraid that Youngjae could hear it.  
“Since you are here... that means you don't hate me? Please let me explain myself”  
“I could never hate you” Jaebeom said.  
"I'm so glad to hear” he sighed “Well... I have to admit I kissed, dated and slept with some Guest in the past.   
It's true what they said about that and I'm not ashamed. You know, I work a lot and it's hard for me to meet new people.   
Not many move here so new guests are my only opportunity to get to know someone else than the ones who already live here".   
So he wasn’t special after all. He was just fly that got trapped in Youngjae's net. His heart hurted. He couldn’t say a word.  
"Jaebeom... are you gay?" the younger asked out of the blue, he sat up right as he heard the question, blushing hard.   
He thought about it a lot since he met Youngjae. He wasn’t sure to be honest. He was never really in love before, so could he say that he was gay just because he liked Youngjae?   
“I'm not sure to be honest, I never liked anyone before.... Before well... the someone I like now... so I can't say that I will never like girl's just or just boy's... It's so confusing and I really don't know..."  
"it's totally fine Jaebeom, I had these thoughts a lot and it made me crazy. I felt like I had to decide on which side I am. But for me love can't be categorized like this.   
For me love is in so many things and it doesn’t matter if it's a boy or a girl.   
If I like someone, I like someone. And You don't have to figure it out yet, trust me. I... I just wanted to know If.... Someone like me had Chance with you".  
Jaebeom's eyes became wide and he looked at Youngjae. Did he hear it right? His heart was a mess, he couldn’t form a sentences.   
Youngjae sat there, his eyes on his feet. Was he blushing? The so confident Youngjae was blushing? Seems like even if you are confident, it's hard to talk about feelings.   
Jaebeom understood it so well.

Jaebeom's silence drove the younger one crazy, but he didn’t want to push the fragile man to an answer.   
But he wanted to talk about it. He wanted to say the things that he kept for an eternity, at least it felt like this, even knowing he just met the boy around a month ago.   
"Jaebeom... Let me explain myself a bit... Well, not explain because that would mean I have to defend myself and I don’t think I have to... I just want you to know how I think and feel. Is that okay for you?"   
Jaebeom hummed a small yes. "See.... I just don’t want to lay on my death bed and regent a thing. If I see someone who is interesting, I want to get to know them better.  
I want to make new memories and new experiences, because I think every Person you meet gives you new ways to think about the world and you can always learn something, be it good or bad.   
I guess every one just looks for someone to love, so you go out and try to find the right one... Sometimes it turns out it will be nothing or just a friend, Sometimes it's just a good fuck but maybe someday you will find the one that’s meant for you.   
I don't want to spend my life thinking, “I should have did this or what would be if I did that”.   
That's why I do the things I like.... but after all, that doesn’t mean I'm not looking for someone that I can get serious with.   
You know the last weeks have been so special to me... " he went quite. He wasn’t sure if he should continue.  
He was rejected before, but he would hurt more than before if it's him who would reject his feelings.  
Jaebeom could feel that the other one needed a sign to continue, so he laid his head on Youngjae's shoulder.   
He felt how his body softened under his touch.  
“I really enjoyed the time with you and I hope we can spend as much as time together until you have to go back... If you still want to.... “  
“Of course I want to why shouldn't I?”  
“Because.... I'm afraid you are disappointed in me or disgusted.”  
“I’m not... why should I.... It's true, I'm... well I never did these things with someone... But... it's okay if you did.   
It's not my right to judge you. I just hoped... That we have something special and... I'm afraid that I see you as something more and you just see me as another Guest flirt that will be gone soon so you can find another one.” he said truthfully.  
“I... I know I shouldn’t think like this because we are not dating or something but... “  
“Jaebeom you ARE something special for me. My heart has never beaten so fast when I was with someone.  
I never looked at someone the way I looked at you. You make me happy and I can't stop to think about you, once I nearly cut off my finger because I was day dreaming about you.  
I really really like you and you are not just a flirt... Please believe me...”

Jaebeom was so overwhelmed. The Man he loved, loved him back. He hid his head between his arms to hide his tears.   
He felt so relived. Youngjae liked him... he really did. It felt like a huge weight fell off his shoulders as he heard the confession.   
He didn’t know what would have been, when Youngjae would have said he doesn't like him the way Jaebeom does. But he did. He really did...  
"Jaebeom are you okay?" he asked worried. Jaebeom collected himself a bit and looked at him with puffed eyes   
"I'm... just happy, that's all ".   
Youngjae's heart made a skip. He was so relived, even tho the other one didn’t say much, his reaction said everything.   
He was so relived. He hugged Jaebeom and they sat there for a while, Just hugging   
"We should go back now.... its late and no have to work tomorrow....Thank you.. for listening to me...."  
he gave Jaebeom a small peck on his wet cheek. 

He really was the happiest person alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there will be the smut part in the next chapter so prepare yourself, or just skip it


	7. Paint

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since the Smut Part was the reason I started this all, it's the longest chapter I think lol.  
> But as I thought about it, I needed a Story around all this to make it less emberessing and to explain it a bit i guess.
> 
> So I hope it makes sense and I hope it's enjoyable.
> 
> PS: I'm sorry, but I'm such a sucker for shy Jaebeom and confident Youngjae

He laid on his bed and thought about how his life changed in the past few weeks.  
He grew to like the sun now, to go out, to talk to people, at least to the ones he was already comfortable with,  
he liked to explore new things and somehow it felt like the sun found a way into his heart too.  
Everything around him felt much warmer and it became easier to leave the room day by day.  
As if someone could read his thoughts his phone made a small *Ping*  
He took a look and a smile appeared on his face.

Sunshine 10:23 am  
Hey Beomie, since it's your last week here, would you be up for a date?  
Tonight?  
A special one, just the two of us and the moon and the stars,  
if you like... You can sleep at my place....  
If you like...  
I will wait at our place on the beach around 8.  
x 

He read the Message over and over again because he couldn’t believe his eyes...  
"sleep at my place..." Jaebeom said out loud and blushed. Does that mean? Or is he seeing things? But after all the teasing? What... If...  
He wasn’t prepared. He didn’t know what to do... how he should deal with it.  
It wasn’t like he never thought about it, he's just a man.  
Of course he had thoughts about the man he loved, but he wasn’t sure how it works between two men, so he did what he had to do.  
He asked Naver.  
A blush was on this face as he scrolled trough some helping Tips as another message appeared.

Sunshine 10:47 am  
Jaebeom, please don't think too much. Noting will happen what you don’t want to do.  
X

He hid his face in the pillow underneath him.  
How can the boy read his thoughts without even seeing him? It really must be a soul mate thing.  
He went to the bathroom to take a cold shower to calm down and to start the day.  
The day went by as if it had 100 hours.  
Finally he could take his walk to the beach without being 10 hours too early, Youngjae was already there.  
A small beach tent was build up and the younger sat there in the evening sunlight with his eyes fixed on the sea.  
Jaebeom walked over and sat next to him. "hey" he said shyly.  
As if he was interrupted from his thoughts, Youngjae snapped to have a look at Jaebeom, his confused face imminently lit up as he saw the black haired man.  
"You came" he said with a soft smile. It hit Jaebeom like a lightning, he didn’t even reply to his messages, he felt like an Idiot.  
"I'm... I'm so sorry Youngjae I was so... So flustered that I forgot to answer you. But you are still here. I'm so sorry. I... I..."  
Youngjae hugged him to make him stop. It felt so good to be so close to him. It's not like they never hugged but today it felt different.  
There was this electrifying Tension in the air but he wasn’t sure if Youngjae could feel it too.

Youngjae had prepared a small Pick-nick for them. He made his super tasty Kimbab rolls with different flavors.  
They talked a lot about everything that came into their minds, sometimes silly things sometimes it went a bit deeper. It felt like he could talk about everything with him now,  
without being afraid to say something stupid. It felt so good to speak what's on your mind without being judged or laughed at.  
He really enjoyed the company of the younger and he felt like the other felt the same.

It wasn’t a uncomfortable silence, they listened to the waves and Jaebeom felt how he started to relax more and more.  
He felt a shift next to him and the next thing he knew, was how the other one put his head on his shoulder  
"are you cold? Do you want my jacket?" Jaebeom asked. "it's okay.  
I just wanted to be closer to you, that's all" he said, nearly whispering and Jaebeom wasn’t sure if he heard right.

"Jaebeom I'm so glad you are here with me, I know you will be gone soon but I enjoyed every second I spend with you.  
I hope you know that no matter how this night will end I'm always grateful that you came into my life"  
their eyes finally met and he took Jaebeom's face in his hand and his thumb slid down on the older one's cheek. 

Jaebeom knew that it's up to him what happens, he wouldn’t be pressured to do something that he didn’t want.  
He was glad but also nervous that he was the one in Charge, but right now he did what he wanted to do for a long time.  
It felt like forever, Youngjae's face came closer as he moved slowly to find the lips of the other. He closed his eyes and then his lips felt something soft.  
His heart exploded like a fire work. It was just a soft and innocent kiss but it felt better than everything he did before.  
He wondered why he never kissed someone sooner,  
but maybe his fate made him wait for the right one.  
For Youngjae.  
A smile grew on Youngjae's face and he turned his head a bit so that the kiss could get deeper.  
Jaebeom didn’t know what to do... It felt so good and he didn’t want it to stop, but he ran our of air and he realized that he held his breath for the whole time.  
Their lips parted and the couple separated, their foreheads still connected and both with a shy grin on their face.  
"You know I kissed others before, but this one... Felt like nothing I ever did before" Youngjae whispered.  
"now you know how I feel. It was... It was the best thing I ever did"

"Please don’t think I will laugh about you or something, I don’t want to push you into something you feel uncomfortable with....  
I just want to be as close to you as I can be... as much as you allow me to be".  
Jaebeom became shy but he was really glad that they talked open about it like this, he felt like he didn’t have to be ashamed that he was still inexperienced and it took a lot of pressure from him,  
he was glad that someone like Youngjae was the one he would share all these first times with.  
"you know...I... I did some research on Naver..."  
Youngjae chuckled about this Statement "I though so... That's why I wrote you shouldn’t over think. It will be Alright. As long as I'm with you, it will be enough for me...."  
This time it was Jaebeom's Hand that found Youngjae's warm cheeks. He cupped the round and soft face and kissed the younger again, this time with more pressure, more passion and more confidence.  
He was right... as long as they are together everything will be alright... Will be perfect, just the two of them, the moon and the stars above them.  
His other hand found he waist of the smaller and it felt like an electricity shock. A moan escaped Youngjae's soft lips and Jaebeom took the opportunity to slide his tongue into the others mouth.  
He tried to think about the things he read today. How to do this right, but he couldn’t collect his thoughts, his confidence dripped.  
As if Youngjae could read his mind again, the younger started to take the lead. The kiss was wet but still sweet, he could taste the sweet flavor of Youngjae's lips and tongue and he knew that he never tasted something this delicious.  
Not even his favorite food made by his mom.

He felt Youngjae's hesitation and his insecurities came back. Did he do it wrong? Doesn’t it feel good for him?  
"Jaebeom, don’t think so much. You do good, you feel amazing and seriously I really have a hard time to hold myself back." he smiled, their lips still close.  
"I... I want you so much Youngjae, I just don’t know how to start... how to make you feel good"  
"shhht.. It's okay. It's not about me... It's about us... I want us both to feel good. Just listen to your heart and your body and it will be Alright"  
Jaebeom took a deep breath. He smelled Youngjae's strawberry shampoo and the salty air, He heard the soft waves, he felt his body and his heat,  
he felt the soft breeze that wasn’t able to cool down the fire between both of them.  
Everything felt so real, so alive but at the same time he felt like he was on a cloud... as he was covered in cotton.

The Blond boy could feel his inner struggles, Even tho he wanted to leave Jaebeom the lead, to not cross his line, he felt like he needed a little push.  
He moved a bit closer and Jaebeom understood what he wanted and both of them sank down unto the soft blanked and pillows that the other had prepared.

Youngjae was now on top of him and he felt the heat between his legs building up. His hips bucked up just to find the crotch of the younger one above him.  
He could feel how hard Youngjae already was... and that was just because of him.  
Youngjae's hips started to move and he found himself grinding down on the crotch of Jaebeom.  
Moans escaped between their lips and he wasn’t sure which one they belonged to, not that it mattered.  
"You feel so good Jaebeom... so good".  
He was so grateful that the other one was so vocal. He heard bis words, his moans and heavy whimpers and he felt less insecure.  
His hand wandered under the fabric of his Shirt and found his soft hips. Youngjae shivered, his sides were so sensitive, the light touches of the older made him shiver with pure want.  
Their hips met over and over again, the friction between their already hard members became unbearable.  
The Jeans felt too tight. Everything felt like it just holds them back from something more enjoyable.  
Jaebeom grabbed the hem of the shirt and removed it without troubles. He took a look at the Man above him, his blond hair sparkled in the moon light.  
His lips were red and wet, full of saliva from their hot kisses. His hands found their way into his pants and to his round and plump cheeks, the jeans was too thigh to actually move,  
but he sill found himself squeezing the soft flesh and a whimper escaped their lips. "so soft... you feel so amazing."  
Youngjae kissed his jaw down to his collarbones, sweet kisses and soft bites found the way to his chest, his hot tongue found his already hard buds, licking them with a shaky breath and it made him whisper the younger s name over and over again.  
The smaller one moved down on his torso, he kissed the trail of hair from the belly button until he reached the waistband of his Jeans.  
He looked up to the older, to see if he's okay with going further, their eyes met and after a small nod, he took his time to open the zipper of his Jeans.  
Jaebeom's bulge was clearly visible under the thin fabric of his underwear, the younger had to swallow hard, his head was spinning from the excitement and arousal.  
His lips and hot breath ghosted above his length, it felt so good that he could phantom what it would feel like, when Youngjae's hot lips would find his bare skin.  
He gave his cock a soft kiss before he pulled his jeans and boxers down. Youngjae continued to kiss his belly, his soft thighs and every spot he could reach, peppered every part with kisses, wet licks and a few Lovemarks.  
Jaebeom felt so good, he felt so loved. With every kiss his worries became less and less, erased with every touch and every "You are so beautiful” from the other, making him calm down more and more.  
It was an amazing feeling to be loved by Youngjae, the feeling of embarrassment of being completely naked was gone by now.  
"You are so damn sensitive, your moans are so hot, you really drive me crazy, baby..." the younger whispered into his ear, he got a soft whimper in response and it made it hard for the younger to breath.  
He knew it is Jaebeom's first time, but seeing his lover melting under his touch was such a turn on for Youngjae, never did he want to forget all these moments, all these lovely sounds the other made and how it felt to kiss and cherish his body.  
He kissed his inner thighs extensive and stroke them softly, finally giving them all the attention they deserved, his hot skin felt so good under his hands.  
He's still kissing and biting Jaebeom's neck as his hand found the way his hard member, "Is this okay for you if I touch you there?", a breath less nod was everything Jaebeom's could response,  
not being able to say a word because of the overwhelming feeling. He started to stroke him with soft motions, still kissing and telling him how beautiful and desirable he is, how hot his moans are and how good he feels.  
"I... I can't take it much longer, please..." soft moans filling the air.  
He kissed his way down between his legs, still stroking him with with a low peace.  
His wet mouth found his leaking member and Jaebeom nearly screamed from the pleasure, but everything that escaped his mouth was his name and a long and sensual moan.  
It felt so hot, Youngjae's plump lips felt so good around his cock and the way he licked and sucked him made his whole body shiver.  
"I... I'm so close Youngjae", he nearly felt his climax washing over him.  
He looked down just to see Youngjae with flushed cheeks, bobbing his head up and down.  
The Younger felt the gaze and looked up into a pair of brown and warm eyes. Hips bucked up by accident, as he saw the other one taking him deep like this.  
Out of the pure bliss that rolled trough his body, he closed his legs and caged his lover In between, but Youngjae didn’t mind, he continued to suck on his erection and started to stroke his legs with soft touches.  
His hips shuttered and he came hard into the warm mouth of the other, it was just all too much to bare any longer. Youngjae didn’t stop to bob his head, using his tongue around him like his dick was a Popsicle,  
until he was sure his lover was completely finished.  
He had to laugh about this picture in his mind and Youngjae smiled. His heart contracted as he saw the older smiling while looking completely wrecked and worn out.  
Youngjae swallowed and licked the last drops of cum out of the corners of his mouth.  
"I'm so sorry, I couldn’t hold it any longer, I'm Sorry" embarrassment in the his voice, If he could get any more flushed he would.  
“It's okay... to be honest I really like that and... I really like how you taste”, he said and gave him a small kiss on his swollen lips. 

Yes, he has touched himself before, he's just a human with needs, but even tho he came a lot of times trough his own hand, he never felt like THIS before.  
They were clinging into each other, still trying to catch their breaths, arms around the body of the other as he felt the hard member of the other.  
He felt bad, it was just all about him and he totally forgot the needs of the other.  
“Youngjae, I'm so sorry, you took so good care of me but you are still... well....”  
He looked down to his own erection, like he just realized that he was still hard down there.  
“Hey, don't worry, it's okay... you can't believe how much joy I had in doing this with you.” he said with a soft smile.

But he wasn’t satisfied with this situation, he wanted to make the other one feel good as well, like he said it before, it should be good for both of them.  
He cupped his ass cheeks again and pulled him closer. “But I need to hear you calling my name as well” he said, embarrassed from his own “Confidence”.  
He rolled on top of the younger, hands are all over his soft body, palming his crotch to make sure that the other understands he's serious.  
He kissed the soft belly, he kissed his sides and shivers shoot through Youngjae's body with every touch.  
The smaller moaned his name and he was sure he never heard something so beautiful.  
Hearing bis own name being called with so much lust and want from the man he loved, was something he never wanted to miss again. While he kissed the hot skin, he tied to open the Jeans of the younger,  
his hands where shaking so much that it took him a while until he finally could remove the tight cage his lover was trapped in.  
Still with shaking hands he slid the pants down off the smaller boy. He couldn’t take his eyes off the boy underneath him,  
his lips were parted and a soft blush on his face, his fringe stuck wet on his forehead and sweat pearled down on his jaw.  
It was So surreal. He looked like an Angel, a moaning Angel but still... he was the most beautiful human he has ever seen.  
His hand found the way around the with pre cum leaking member. He started to move his hand and got a response immediately.  
Youngjae's hips bucked up to get as much friction as he could get. He was so desperate for his own release, even if he didn't want to admit it.  
Youngjae felt so god in his hands, never did he thought that another man could feel this good, this arousing... His lips found the tip of Youngjae's erection and a load moan escaped his lips. "Jae... Jaebeom".  
he tried to moved his head up and down and his tongue swirled around the head of his delicious cock. It felt so hot, his mouth felt so full and he knew he would never get tired of the strange but salty Taste of the other.  
Now he could understand what the other meant before.  
"Jaebeom please.. I... I need you". He couldn’t contain his moan, his lips still around the hot and leaking cock of the younger. He couldn’t believe that he got someone so messed up. It was his first time, he felt so shy but being able to make his lover feel so good gave him a confident feeling.  
"Do.. You have lube? I... I saw that you have to be prepared... or do you want to....?". "Lube is in my bag.... Please, we can try as much as you want later, but now I need you Inside of me...."  
his hands found the lube and he gave a huge amount of the sticky gel on his Fingers.  
Now he was glad that he did his Research and knew what he had to do. His Finger wandered between the soft cheeks and a load growl escaped his lips.  
His legs parted to give him a better access and Jaebeom started to move his fingers to loosen up his lover. It felt so good, It should feel disgusting he thought, but it felt so right... so hot and so tight.  
He moaned as he started to thrust his fingers deep inside him. A soft sob was heard, as he brushed the prostate of the whimpering boy beneath him.  
"Please hurry up...ahh... I'm ready... I prepared myself for this. You don't have to hold back... I'm ready for your big cock... Please Jaebeom hurry up and fill me up..." A shiver went though his whole body.  
Even tho his own release wasn't long ago, he was rock hard again. Youngjae licked his lips as he saw him stroking his own member to get ready for him. He spread his legs wider, signalized Jaebeom that he's ready.  
He couldn’t take the tension anymore. He wanted to feel him so bad. "Jaebeom please just fuck me already" he wined and it made Jaebeom shiver with arousal. He got I between the well defined legs and grabbed the hips under him.  
His tip pressed at the rim and as he slipped into the tight hole, he moaned as loud as he never did before. It was such an incredible feeling, it was so tight and so warm, so hot and he could feel how he dived deeper into him.  
He had to collect himself for a bit. Everything felt so overwhelming. He kissed his lover on the wet lips, still not moving his hips, still trying to get used to this overwhelming feeling. He kissed him deep and It was perfect.  
With slow motions he started to thrust into the body beneath him.  
Youngjae moaned, "So good Jaebeom... Yes like this... Ahh... Amazing"  
his body worked on his own, like a natural mechanism that started automatic. He slipped out just to come back harder with each thrust.  
"You... You feel so good around my cock... God Youngjae. You feel so good. So tight... So hot."  
Both couldn’t contain their moans. Youngjae's back arched as he came closer to this high.  
Jaebeom took his hard member into his hands and started to stoke it softly. He couldn’t match his hand with the thrusts of his lower Region,  
he was too new to all of this but it didn’t matter. Youngjae moaned into his ear and after some more movements of his wrist he came with a loud moan onto both of their body’s.  
He couldn’t take his eyes of the white liquid on his lovers body. He looked into Youngjae's eyes and found him looking at him with so much love and need.  
Jaebeom knew he was close, he could feel he is getting near the edge again.  
"Jaebeom... Paint me.... use me as your canvas."  
and with that he couldn’t hold back anymore. His hips snapped harder into him, Youngjae whimpered from the over stimulation.  
He slid out of the tight hole and came onto Youngjae's chest and belly. Some of his seeds landed on his face but the younger didn’t care.  
Still breathing hard and recovering from the high he felt seconds ago.

It was so embarrassing that he thought about Art in this moment but nothing could be compared with the beauty of the man beneath him.  
No painting, no sculpture he saw came close to the God like human that he hovered over.  
He wished, he could save this picture forever... the white cum on his tanned skin was such a contrast to the brown sun kissed skin that covered the body,  
the flushed Red lips and rosy Cheeks sparkled in the soft moon light.  
He couldn’t take his eyes of him and it looked like the other one didn’t mind being seen this messed up, being covered in their cum as if it was the most natural thing.

"that was.... Amazing" Youngjae could say between heavy breaths.  
Jaebeom rolled off him and landed next to him on the soft blanket.  
He intertwined their Fingers and looked into his eyes.  
"Thank You... Thank you for making me feel alive like I never did before.  
I love you.... I love you since the fist time I saw you. You don’t have to say it back,  
but I just need to say it out loud before my heat burst into pieces from holding back"  
Youngjae didn’t say a word, he just kissed his lips. Soft and innocent, just like they did when they shared their first kiss.  
Jaebeom didn’t need words to understand how the other one felt. It was perfect just like this.

Youngjae spoke without words and he understood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I wrote this part I was really satisfied with myself (desprite everything)  
> but then OT7 came on vlive and Jaebeom just looked so tiny, smoll and baby  
> and my heart went softer than soft and I thought to myself  
> "Story Jaebeom needs more love, more kisses and appreciation"  
> because that's what he deserves in every universe.  
> I hope he sleeps and eats well, feels loved and appreciated.  
> Take care my love


	8. We keep this Love in a Photograph

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Photography is a way of feeling, of touching, of loving.   
> What you have caught on film is captured forever…   
> It remembers little things, long after you have forgotten everything.”  
> — Aaron Siskind

The day both of them feared the most, came faster than they thought. They tried to spent as much as time together as they could, night and day.   
But it was still hard to say goodbye, to let go of the warm embrace of the other one.   
When Jaebeom came here, he never thought that he would experience all these things,   
that he would enjoy spending his vacations at the seaside far away from home and that he would find someone he truly cares about.  
He tried to hold back the tears as they hugged each other tight on the Platform, his heart felt so heavy and he knew the other didn’t feel better.   
"Please take care of yourself, eat your vegetables and Drink enough water" the younger said with an uplifting smile on his face, arms still around his waist.   
Even tho the tears burned in his eyes, he had to smile. That's his Youngjae, always taking care of him even tho he is the older one and should take care of him instead.   
The bus ride back home didn’t feel right, he could still feel the soft lips of the younger on his cheeks and his lips, even if this moment was minutes ago.  
He took a look into his Backpack, making sure he didn't forget the most important things he would take home with him, except for the memories he made with Youngjae.   
He counted the small black boxes and was relived to find all Photo films he filled in the past few weeks.   
He had to smile, even if he took 1000 pictures, in maybe sometimes weird situations, Youngjae never complained about it.   
Maybe because he knew that he doesn’t have a bad angle or maybe because the younger knew how much these things mean to Jaebeom.   
Once he read a quote, "If you want to know what someone fears losing, watch what they photograph." and it's the truth for him.   
Not just because he is afraid too lose Youngjae, he's afraid that someday, the memories will fade or that back home he will wonder if everything that happened was just a dream.   
He wrote his friend Sungjin if he could come over this week to use his Labor, to develop his photos.   
He really liked his digital camera and all the benefit's you had with them but nothing could beat the excitement and the joy in developing your own pictures in a dark room, with strange smelling chemicals.   
He could already imagine how the others bright smile would appear on the Photograph more and more.  
It doesn’t matter if the pictures turn out blurry or if there are his fingers in the corner, how it happens so often when he just snaps a picture, the moments and the feelings that have been captured matter the most for him.   
With a heavy sigh he started to listen to the heartbreak play list that was made especially for his moment.   
With a even heavier sign he munched the Kimbap rolls the Young Cook made for him, he would miss his food so much,   
he would miss HIM so much. 

Youngjae waved until he couldn’t see the Bus anymore. He already felt the emptiness without the other one, even if its just minutes ago that they separated.   
He remembered the first time he met Jaebeom, the first time he looked into these warm and friendly eyes and saw these cute two little moles.   
There is this little fear in him, that tells him that time and distance could tear them apart, but he was sure if they are meant to be, it will work out.  
Normally he was so good in hiding his feelings if he wanted it, but now he stood there with tears streaming down his face.   
It doesn’t matter if people saw him, the loss of the person he grew to like so much, was just not bearable at the moment. 

"Please Jaebeom, don’t forget about me, I love you too."


	9. White Flowers and Rosy Cheeks

He took a look at the mirror for the last time, he felt kind of conformable with what he saw, he wore a baby blue shirt and tight Blue Jeans with holes, his hair was longer than before and was a but messy but he liked it that way.  
He lifted one of his sleeve and had to smile about the tan line he still had from his summer vacations.  
Never did he think he would have a tan in his life but look at him now. So many things have changed, but he was glad it all happened.  
He should leave, if he wants to be in time to get his Visitor from the train Station.

He went to the Front door and his mom came to say good bye to him. As soon as she saw her son she stopped with what she was doing, it's been years since she saw her Son in another color than Black.  
Of course the changes in him are visible since he came back from the Seaside, but it was still emotional for her and got a bit teary,  
"Oh Jaebeom..." was everything Mama Im could say. Jaebeom was a bit confused and got shy "does it look bad? Should I change?"  
his Mom shook her head “No!... No, you look wonderful like this. It's just been a while since I saw you colorful like this"  
Jaebeom let the air out, he didn’t realized that he had hold his breath. "I'm so glad, I thought I had to change but I really want to look good for him"  
he said with a shy smile on his face and his Cheeks became a soft reddish color.  
"he will think you look beautiful, I'm sure about it. But you have to go now or you will be late."  
she said with a smile and gave him a peck on his forehead, he's still her baby after all.  
"ah Jaebeom?I can't wait to meet your sunshine. I'm really happy to finally meet him".

As soon as the door closed she couldn’t hold back the tears. She was so worried about her precious son, all the day's he spent in his room all by himself.  
His sad and unfazed smile was vanished from his face since he came back from his vacations, like he's a totally different Person.  
She knew Youngjae helped a lot, it wasn’t a lie when she said she can't wait to meet him.  
She went back into the Kitchen to prepare the welcome Meal for the Guest to make him feel like home.

Normally the way to the train station wasn't far, but today it felt like it took forever.  
He checked his phone for the 333th time just to make sure hes still in time, it would be a shame if his guest would look out for him and he's stuck in the packed bus, not even near the place he has to be.  
He was so nervous, heart beating fast from the excitement and nervousness.  
Even tho they texted and called each other all the time, he was nervous to see him again, will the other one still like him as much as he did when they said goodbye to each other?  
I mean it's been a while since they really saw each other. He stood at the platform with a bouquet flowers in his hand and stepped from one foot to another, hands are shaking.  
Finally the train arrived and he looked out for his long awaited Visitor. It didn’t take him long to find him and he made his way to walk into his direction.  
He had to stop himself from running, still not sure if the feelings of the other were the same.  
But as soon as the now blue haired boy saw Jaebeom he smiled with his bright flashy smile and Jaebeom ran into his arms. They hugged. They hugged for what felt like and eternity, but the time stopped when he was in his favorite pair of arms.  
As they let go from each other Jaebeom saw the red color of Youngjae's cheeks, he hugged him once more and he smiled into the soft hair.  
"I... I brought you flowers... I saw them and they... Reminded me of you..." he stuttered, cursing himself for being so nervous .  
"You really like the color white mhm, I love them. Thank you so much" he got on his toes and gave the older a small kiss on the blushing cheek.  
He took his boyfriend by the hand, interviewing their fingers and it felt so good to hold this soft hands again.  
"Let's go home, my mom is so excited to meet you, she made your favorite dish, shes super nervous but she hopes you like it".

He doesn’t know what the future will bring for the two of them.  
But no matter what, he is incredible thankful for every second he is able to feel the sunshine in his heart.


	10. Epilog

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So guess that's it.  
> There are mentions of death, but it's really more like,  
> one of them died and the other died shortly after because they missed each other so much.
> 
> seriously it was such a rollercoster to post this because I'm still not sure if everything makes sense and if its enjoyable  
> but.... Im glad I posted this.  
> hopefully I can read this again without shame, because somewhere in my heart I feel like thatits not THAAAT bad...

Epilog

Yugyeom's heart was heavy. His parents passed away shortly after one another and he had to cope with the loss of both of his loving Dad's.  
He already missed them so much and it felt strange to pack all their things from the House he grew up in.  
He really wished he could move there with his own family but the house is too far away from his work place.

He stood in the Atelier from his Dad and looked at all the Paintings.  
It was one of his favorite rooms, he remembered all the moments he spent here laughing and being fascinated by the talent of his dad.  
Tears crawled into his eyes as his daughter came into the room. “Dad can I help you or do you need a moment alone?”.  
“Its okay Dear, I just remembered the wonderful time here”. he started to pack some of the Paintings.  
“Whoa this one is so beautiful, I'm always amazed how Grandpa Jaebeom captured Grandpa Youngjae's beauty so well,  
you can literally feel and see the love they had for each other, his paintings are always so bright and colorful” she smiled.  
Yugyeom packed another Picture, this one was dark and messy, it was like colors had been splashed on the canvas to release something that was locked deep inside.  
She took a look at the painting “Oh is this one from him too? It looks so different than the others, what happened that changed his way to paint?”

“I guess he found the Sun in his heart...” he said with a soft smile on his face.

Maybe he should talk with his Partner...  
they could find work everywhere but a place that makes you feel like home is something you have to treasure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everybody who took their time to read it until here  
> I hope you liked it or that it made you smile from time to time.  
> 2jae Forever  
> ~♡~
> 
> also Thanks to Ibolya <3  
> Thank you for reading it without judging me and thank you for the supprot you give me no matter what.  
> I'm happy to call you my friend. Love you 
> 
> also Thanks to Mäggie <3  
> even if you are busy, you took your time to read my words and gave me your honest opinion.  
> I felt good with it before, but you gave me new ideas and the will to make this maybe even "better".  
> Your words maybe gave me the courage to post it. so thank you for everything.
> 
> ~♡~
> 
> thanks to all the 2jae writer out there, thank you for making me happy with your story's.

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to post this all at once but somehow i feel like i have to put something out to make it feel real.  
> not that it matters but the rest is coming soon.
> 
> I read many like MANY FF before and I guess this is just a summary of everything I read somewhere and what touched my heart mixed with my own Ideas.  
> I put much love and effort into this by myself, so i hope nobody feels like I'm copying something... It's never my intention.
> 
> I know I'm not the best writer, but i really had to get this out of my head. I hope, whoever reads it, you still enjoy it.
> 
> feel free to comment but please stay nice (I'm sensitive okay?)


End file.
